my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
