I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize