I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I am one with the molecules
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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