Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
