if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
