When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
