I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize