Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
