did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
