I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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