Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
