Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
