I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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