Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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