haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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