Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
