I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
