WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
