I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
