I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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