hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
