i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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