Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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