I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
please come you make the beer taste better
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize