i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
