I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
