I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
