Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
