Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
