They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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