My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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