I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
