I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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