Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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