He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
