I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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