I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
