White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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