I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
accomplished twins. life is a go
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
