My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize