so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
