The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
