I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
