the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I didn't notice because vodka
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
