just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
