i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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