yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
