NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
