he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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