you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
