You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
