hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
