just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
