More tranny stories later!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
