it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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