Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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