At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
