I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
