I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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