Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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