im drinking this country out of the recession.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
