He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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