my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize