Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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