The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
