Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
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New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize