Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
